Self-Inflicted Wounds
Shakespeare, Kloppo, Gatsby, and a Little Zep
“Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?”
We all know the line. And if you’re of a certain vintage like I am, you may still carry memories of late nights spent memorizing Shakespearean verse. Scenes of feuding families and young love, doomed by a simple failure in message delivery.
At its core, Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy of communication. A timeless theme that feels all too familiar today, as society barrels past the 50% divorce rate and young people grow increasingly hesitant to even try. A modern feast of “he said, she said” moments, enriching only the wallets of couples’ therapists and lawyers.
What did he mean by that?
What is she talking about? She never told me that.
Similarly, in The Great Gatsby, Fitzgerald gives us another warning. Gatsby constructs an empire of wealth and status to win back Daisy, an idealized woman he never actually speaks with. He implies his value, never states his heart, and it all ends in ruin.
And as the immortal Led Zeppelin once screamed:
“Communication Breakdown, it’s always the same!”
Art and football mirror society.
This is Where We Begin
If you want to lead, and we mean truly lead, you must start here.
Ask yourself:
What message are you not delivering because you assume people just “get it”?
What are you saying by saying nothing?
What’s being misread?
What’s being implied?
Have you truly spoken to your players this week, this month, this season?
A 2025 survey by FSQ Sports of over 100 Executive Directors of football clubs in Canada found communication to be the number one problem in sport. 45% cited it as their primary concern.
Leadership, in its most elemental form, is the capacity to communicate. To speak clearly and to listen deeply.
“Good communication is human.” — Jurgen Klopp
Klopp, Mourinho, and countless top managers are master communicators. Publicly and privately. Their teams mirror their clarity. You see it in press conferences, on the training pitch, and most importantly, in how they relate to individuals.
Culture Lives in Your Language
As a leader, it’s your job to communicate across every layer of your club. Your culture is not what you say. It’s how you say it, how often you say it, and whether you live it.
“Effective teamwork begins and ends with communication.”
“Communication does not always occur naturally, even among a tight-knit group. It must be taught and practiced to bring everyone together as one.”
— Mike Krzyzewski, Duke Basketball
Klopp famously demands his players greet everyone in the club, from kitchen staff to groundskeepers, with dignity. Why? Because simple, everyday communication says: You matter. Everyone contributes to the vision. Everyone helps the team win.
So what’s your communication plan this week?
Do you have one?
**Every Monday we dive into the life of a maverick player and ask a few questions that may have you see your coaching in a new way. At worst enjoy the geniuses of the game past and present. Maverick Monday recently featured Paul “Gazza” Gascoigne. **
Lessons From the Sideline
In my 20 years of coaching and another 30 plus playing I’ve learned this:
Culture is defined by what you say, what you model, and what you leave unsaid.
When we built Canada’s first supporter-owned football club, from a napkin sketch to competing in the country’s highest open competition, we had every opportunity to fail. But we survived, some might even say thrived, because we talked.
We hosted supporter forums.
We held staff roundtables.
We checked in with players. Individually. Informally. Often.
Fast forward seven years later and following the same blueprint of open lines of communication we met opportunity, again. Before our first Canadian Championship match, our version of the FA Cup, we knew we had to do more than plan tactics. We had to build unity.
We invited players to speak and contribute to the plan. All of them. Not just the captains. Not just the “best.”
And those small, everyday conversations made us stronger than any whiteboard ever could.
How are you feeling?
I never felt weaker for asking. In fact, I felt like a better coach.
What Romeo and Juliet Can Teach Football Teams
Communication breakdowns (really, listen to that song at eleven) are the root of most relationship issues. And a football club is nothing more than a web of relationships.
Here are just some of the ways communication fails:
Common Communication Breakdowns
Lack of Clarity
Vague phrasing or unclear goals
Overuse of jargon not understood by the audience
Poor Listening
Interrupting or filtering based on bias
Listening to reply, not to understand
Assumptions and Misinterpretation
Assuming shared context or knowledge
Misreading tone, especially in text
Cultural or language mismatches
Emotional Interference
Speaking while angry, stressed, or afraid
Fear of conflict or rejection
Ego or insecurity distorting the message
Wrong Medium or Timing
Texting when a call is better
Delivering complex ideas in rushed moments
One-Way Communication
Lecturing instead of engaging
Not allowing feedback or clarification
Inconsistent Messaging
Saying one thing, doing another
Mixed signals from leadership
Low Trust or Psychological Safety
Withholding thoughts out of fear
Past punishments for honesty
No safe space to speak openly
Disengagement
Multitasking during conversations
Emotional withdrawal
Information overload
The Ruler Problem
And here’s the hard truth:
If your culture is built on power imbalance instead of shared standards, all of these problems become worse.
When you act like The Ruler instead of a guide, your players will start performing for you instead of with you. You’ll get fake communication; whatever keeps the boss happy.
Before long, you become The Emperor With No Clothes. Unaware. Uninspiring. Ineffective.
They always know when it’s about you.
When honesty is punished, the signs will show up. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon.
Here’s what to watch for:
When Communication Dies, So Does Culture
Self-Censorship
Players withhold ideas or feedback to avoid conflict
People say what they think you want to hear
Inauthenticity
Agreement becomes performative
Real emotion and opinion are hidden
Loss of Feedback Loops
Leaders stop hearing the truth
Blind spots and bad decisions follow
Emotional Suppression
Resentment builds
People either explode or check out
Poor Listening from the Top
Compliance is mistaken for engagement
Disagreement is silenced or dismissed
Cycle of Mistrust
Low psychological safety leads to low connection
Disengagement and quiet resistance take over
Communication Becomes Transactional
Orders replace collaboration
Creativity and empathy fade
Performance Drops
Fear limits learning
Expression is stifled
Risk-taking disappears
Example of a way to add some messaging to your team. Received on their phones and heard on their terms. Responses if they want and an area to then touch base with throughout the training week, individually and as a group. (As you can tell, it doesn’t need to be perfectly scripted.)
“All communication must lead to change.” — Aristotle
Your job as a coach is vast. From sessions to strategy, from science to the soul of your club. Every piece of your work lives and dies by communication.
One message, undelivered, can break trust.
One word, misinterpreted, can tear a team apart.
Speak clearly. Listen deeply.
And above all, don’t let your story end in silence.
Don’t drink the poison.
Thanks for reading.
If you know a coach that might enjoy some ideas like these please share it with them. It only takes a minute and could help a player in the future. Please.
And if this hit home, or resonates with you at all, I’d love to hear from you.
Leave a comment, hit the ❤️, or share this with someone in your world who might need a reminder that communication is as much work as the tactics.